02.03.05
The other day I found myself watching HSN.
The Home Shopping Network.
Sometimes when I surf past, I will stop and see what they're hawking, because I need a good laugh.
And even more rarely, sometimes they are selling Serious Skincare, which is a prestige skincare line that we carry at The Store Where I Work, and I try to be up on the new products, or find out more about the ones that we already carry.
(Sometimes, I even watch infomercials for products like Bare Escentual, because we carry those, too.)
Anyway, I somehow ended up watching this woman, selling some sort of suitcase that was the size of a carry-on, but magically turned into a full-sized garment bag, and held a whole shitload of clothing and stuff. And then it came with another bag that was also a carry on, but more like a big purse with all these dividers in it, that would attach to the top of the suitcase somehow, and didn't need to actually be "carried on" at all.
I watched this woman, over and over, stuff massive amounts of clothing and shoes into this garment bag, then neatly stow it in the suitcase, and then with a different suitcase, unzip it an pull out a garment bag stuffed with massive amounts of clothing and shoes. Then, pull up the trolley handle, and attach the other bag to the top, neatly and firmly held together as one unit.
And then I remembered the gigantic suitcase under my bed, that I never use because it is so huge. One of those hide-a-body models. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it.
And the rolling carry-on suitcase that when I use it, flips over constantly to the non-wheeled side, which then must constantly be flipped back over onto its wheeled side. I think at some point for me it just becomes a drag-along carry-on suitcase.
I remembered one trip where I was almost crying when I got to the check-in counter at United, because I couldn't deal with the gigantic suitcase and the flipping little one. The bags kept trying to assassinate me in the parking lot, my ankles and shins taking the brunt of the bruises and scrapes.
I remembered another trip, running through the airport to catch a last minute flight, trying to balance a large tote bag atop the flipping carry-on, and having to constantly stop and readjust the whole arrangement. I was very frustrated by the time I got to the gate, which was apparently situated so as to be as far away from the entrance to the airport as physically possible.
And I remembered how, when I travel home, or even to stay with friends, I invariably pack everything into Trader Joe's bags (large grocery paper sacks with handles for you not around here.), and pray that a handle doesn't rip off, or a hole doesn't get poked in the side of one of them.
Suddenly, I found myself logging into the HSN website, arranging payment and delivery for my very own weekender set.
I didn't even know that there was a comments section on the site, which I did discover later. I know that I probably should have, but if I had ordered it over the phone and didn't have access to a computer -- like a lot of the people that have ordered it probably have, I wouldn't have had a comments section to read.
It arrived today, and it is very well-constructed of durable, attractive fabric. Definitely larger than a carry-on suitcase, despite repeated claims to the contrary -- According to airline requirements, carry-on can't be larger than 45 linear inches (h + w+ d), and this one is actually 52 inches linear. But, despite the difference, the having to check a bag thing isn't so horrible. At least it is a fairly small bag. Everything seems to work as described, and it doesn't seem to be inclined to flip over when dragged. And the carry-on bag that goes with it is really nice, and is very firmly held to the trolley handle of the suitcase by a strap that doesn't seem inclined to detach from the whole system anything soon.
I did pack the garment bag at least as full as Joy did on the HSN segment, and I had to take shoes out and rearrange them in the suitcase, then apply a lot finesse to get the thing zipped shut. I am a small person though, and I do not travel with terribly large clothing. If I were the average person packing for a few days, or like an overnight businessman with bulkier clothing requirements, there's no way I'd be able to get everything I needed in there. The garment bag is sort of too big for the suitcase itself when filled.
But, the deal breaker for me is that is has a horrific chemical smell. (I had hoped that it would dissipate, but two weeks later when I am writing this, it is as stinky as ever.) It isn't a stinky smell. It is a noxious odor. It might even be toxic -- it made me queasy and gave me a headache just be exposed to the thing long enough to pack it. God only knows if it would transfer to the clothing, which would be total awesome. Not.
My assessment is that if I were going somewhere with a bunch of bulky suits, or going away to a chalet for a weekend of skiing, this wouldn't be the bag I would use. But I'm usually going for 5 days or less, and my clothing isn't really that large. So, for a person my size, and with my travelling habits, this would be a great bag... if I had no olfactory receptors, extreme headache resistance, and a stomach of steel.
(Two weeks after receiving it, I am returning it to HSN. They didn't seem the least bit surprised, either.)