04.14.03
Because soon I will no longer have a Carol around to say stupid things and give me fair fodder to mock later on here, I am going to give you as much Carolisms as possible, whether they are truly treasures or not.
"I think I've got my daughter's boyfriend co-hearsed into laying down wood floors for me."
"We went to an all-exclusive resort in St. Thomas 4 years ago."
Yes, all-exclusive has crept back into her vocabulary, and she went to St. Maartens two years ago, not St. Thomas. She has never been to St. Thomas.
Five years ago was the cruise, because SSG still owned us then, and she earned the trip for being top producer the previous year. In 1999 we were sold to HMS, who did not give her a trip, but instead gave her $1000. Three or four years ago was the trip to Germany, two years ago was Aruba, which happened right before Saks Incorporated took us over, last year was the horrible trip to St. Maartens, and this year was the trip to Cancun.
Which presents me with the opportunity to discuss Overlord Carol's strange propensity to increase numbers with the passage of time.
I started working here in September of 1996. Carol's father died in February of the following year, 1997. I know this because I had only been here a few months and suddenly got stuck working alone for a week, while the salon was disassembled and painted. This means he has been dead six years. Yet, according to Carol, he's been dead 8 years.
Carol's mother was diagnosed with cancer in either 1999 or 2000, and they went to her motherland, Germany, that Fall before she died. Ergo, she died either three or four years ago. I can't remember which year exactly, but I'm leaning more towards three. However, in Carol time, her mother has been dead 6 years.
But dates aren't the only numbers to expand in size.
In 1997, while SSG still owned us, we both purchased an extra pair of shears from FROMM, one of their vendors. Mine were a little over $100, which was all I could spare at the time, and she got ones that were right around $200. Several years later, her shears magically cost $250, and these days they cost somewhere between $300 and $350, depending on what day she's sharing their price with the public.
Most of her supplies, like clippers, blowdryers, etc. all have shared a similar fate.
Mine just cost what I paid for them, and time passes at the regular rate in my world.
But then, my world is all-inclusive, so what do I really know?
What's in your head?