askpixie.

04.23.05

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. God, please save me from your followers! The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a ... brain operation. Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. God, please save me from your followers! Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head. Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! When ideas fail, words come in very handy. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. A narcissist is someone better looking than you are. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. In the end, everything is a gag. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. If a man does his best, what else is there? The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. What do you take me for, an idiot? When love is not madness, it is not love. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.Love is the beauty of the soul. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. When ideas fail, words come in very handy. His ignorance is encyclopedic Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Who so loves believes the impossible. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. The best proof of love is trust. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance I would have made a good Pope. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

 

SEH,

You know, you should put that on a bumper sticker.

-- pixie

 

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