07.13.03
So, I decided to see if I could find any web freelance writing stuff for payola, because I know people that have made decent money for doing things like writing horoscopes for online communities, etc. And from some link or another, I came across an older advertisement that stated an online teen forum site was looking for an advice columnist.
I figured that it was already filled, but having advice column experience, I thought I would see what they ended up getting for their ad. Wow, apparently not much. May I present, from sonnyworld.com, the amazing Ask Marie:
"Q: I can't seem to meet any guys. I get hit on by ugly and unacceptable guys and I'm beginning to feel less pretty please help! -no guys.
A. Dear No guys,
First of all, your looks have nothing to do with your being hit on by ugly guys and second, the reason you can't seem to meet any guys is because of your feeling less pretty. What you need to do next time you are hit on by a guy you deem ugly is take a good look at him before you make your decision. We are all quick to judge but sometimes looking further may bring out a new side to this guy that you hadn't seen before. If he's not really ugly but just shabby... then you have reason to smile because that can be changed. And surprise, surprise, you can still smile if he's truly ugly because it is a fact that ugly guys are more aggressive than cute guys just because and if he's coming after you it's because he sees something he likes."
And then I wandered over to their celebrity gossip section, and discovered the following tidbit for March 17th:
controversy seems to have it's heart set on t.A.T.u. not only did they get themselves alienated from one of the most popular late night shows but now reports from groupies are surfacing that maybe these lesbians are not so lesbian after all! Andy Lynn writes, "I took my boyfriend backstage with me and the girls were just ogling him. It was really uncomfortable and obvious especially because they were surrounded by several very pretty girls. Maybe they are just curious, but I'd hate if they'd been putting up an act!"
Obviously, some tween has been reading the front covers of gossip rags while on line at the checkout counter of her (please, let it be a her) local supermarket. You've got to love someone 'in the know' that is afraid of capital letters, proper grammar, and punctuation!
Fortunately, the geniuses running the site have a comments option, of which I availed myself, yea verily.
Thank you for submitting the following information:
MessageType: Complaint
Subject: Web Site
SubjectOther: celebrity gossip
Username: kristen
UserEmail: pixie@pixiemartin.com
UserTel:
UserFAX:
ContactRequested:
For Monday March 17th's gossip, your source revealed that t.a.T.u. might not be lesbians as they have claimed. Let's see, I hadn't heard of them until February, but even then they were stating publicly that they were heterosexual, and indeed had boyfriends, despite speculation to the contrary.
The following quote is taken from The Guardian, at http://www.guardian.co.uk/Print/0,3858,4596534,00.html
"...The girls' videos revel in the pair's sexual attraction for each other, featuring the teenagers in skimpy school uniforms, flirting with and kissing each other, or apparently masturbating in the bath. Their manager has admitted their sexuality is mostly a marketing ploy, and the girls, despite admitting they enjoy their ambiguity, have said they have boyfriends, and intend to marry and have children..."
The date of the article? Saturday February 1, 2003.
And, honestly, I've read better dating advice (Ask Marie) in my 11 year-old sister's emails to her little gang of preteen miscreant friends. I don't what teens you are trying to attact to your website, and I'm not sure I want to know.
What's in your head?