askpixie.
07.26.03
Dear Pixie,
Ok, I have a broken arm at the moment, long story really not of interest, why do people insist on coming up to me and say "Oh you arm is broken."? What do they expect me to do, look down and say "Oh Christ how the hell did that happen? WOW, it's got plaster on it too, I honestly didn't even feel it happen!" I mean really, bloody idiots.
Charlotte (Charlie)
Remember to floss everyday!
I wish that I could tell you that people don't ask things like that because they aren't almost all entirely stupid, but that is entirely untrue.
These are the same sorts of people that, after you have had agonizing and messy septoplasty, and are trucking around with two black eyes, your nose swaddled in a splint, and a moustache dressing taped underneath your nose to catch the mucky drips ask things like, "Oh, my GOD! What happened to you!"
Obviously you understand how hard it is to not actually say things like, "What are you talking about?" touch your face, and then start screaming and running around yelling, "Oh, my GOD! What happened to my face!"
I always find that in these situations, the most amusing way to deflect their stupidity is to say something vaguely off-the-wall, and then let them wonder if you are serious or not:
"Oh, my GOD! What happened to you!"
"You think I look bad, you should see the other girl. She's still in the hospital!"
In your case, you might try something like, "Yeah, amazing isn't it? You'd think I'd have broken a few more bones or something from that height." and then walk off. Or look down, ponder your cast, scornfully say, "Oh, stop exaggerating!" and then walk off, muttering loudly, "And people call me a drama queen."
Worked properly, people will learn to avoid you, much less make the attempt to enlighten your life with the obvious.
-- pixie
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