10.09.00
I have a very hostile profile on ICQ*, and with good reason.
I'm not looking for random bozos to chat me up.
I mean, the fact that we both live in Iowa is neither amazing nor important to me. Lots of people that I don't know live in Iowa, and I don't want to talk to them either.
Honestly, the odds are that if I don't know you, I'm REALLY not looking to know you any time soon.
So piss off.
Once upon a time, my profile said nothing, and that's when the fun really began. Every horny, desperate man in the state of Iowa, looking for love and validation from strangers decided to proposition me. I got a lot of, 'Hey! I live in Iowa too! Let's get nekkid and roll around!' kind of messages from strangers with names like Soulful Stranger and Maverick.
That's where the 'I'm not looking for random bozos to chat me up. I mean, the fact that we both live in Iowa is neither amazing nor important to me. Lots of people that I don't know live in Iowa, and I don't want to talk to them either.' bit came from. And yet, the bozos still came on like I was an octogenarian gazillionaire, and they were golddiggers with nothing better to do. In fact, their efforts redoubled to change my mind about the wily Iowan netgeek male.
My all-time favorite is the guy who asked, 'Does IA stand for Iowa?'
Usually I stick everyone I don't know who talks to me on my ignore list, but it was a legitimate, albeit stupid, question. I told him that yes, IA meant Iowa, and left it at that.
His very next message was, 'Cool, my girlfriend and I are going to be in Des Moines this summer for a few days. Wanna hook up with us for a threesome?'
And then he went straight on the ignore list. For all he knew, I was a horny, desperate man trolling for netsex myself. And that's when the ruder portion of the profile came into being.
Now, some guy periodically tells me I'm a bitch, or that I seem exceptionally hostile to the world, and I'm okay with that.
*And yes, I have AIM and yahoo messenger too, which I've heard time and again are superior to little old ICQ, but I dunno, all the people I know have ICQ. And I'm all old school like that.
