10.24.00

One time, I asked my friend Tim, who is a manager of one of the local Domino's Pizza joints about the gratuitous use of the character 'Bad Andy' in their commercials. I was under the distinct impression that Bad Andy, who is a turdish-looking little monkey puppet, worked for the Domino's Corporation, and I couldn't understand why the management of any pizzeria would suffer such crass stupidity and negligence from an employee, much less a globally-recognized food titan like Domino's.

Tim assured me that Bad Andy was a caricature of what a bad pizza delivery person was like, and that he didn't work at Domino's. He merely plagued them with his incompetence. I dunno, if Bad Andy's being chided for misusing the Heat Wave bag-warmers as part of a Swedish-style sauna scheme, I think he's probably an employee. I mean, if Tim walked in on me lounging in the back room as a non-employee, goofing off at his restaurant, he'd kick my ass out the door.

All I'm saying is that the current Domino's tagline is, "Domino's: Bad Andy. Good Pizza."

Bad Andy works at Domino's, and the manager of a Domino's should at least be aware of his company's advertising campaigns to the extent that he understands their basic tenets. Me? I'd fire Bad Andy for scampering around the place naked all the time. He's furry, for criminy's sake. If drivers have to wear their hair collar-length or shorter, the puppet can wear some pants.

That's just another of the multitude of reasons* that I don't eat their pizza.

Yesterday & Tomorrow.

*You know, that whole Operation Rescue thing. Oh, and the fact that it sucks. It's almost as bad as Sbarro's**. *shudder*

The pizza at my high school tasted better, and I always joked that their crust was made from white bread and Elmer's school glue, and their toppings were watered-down ketchup and cat food-grade tuna.

**The restaurant where you can actually get a slice of pepperoni grease pizza. Seriously, get a napkin anywhere near a slice and it looks like you mopped up an oil slick. It's the EXXON Valdez all over again, except with cheese, and no baby seals.