11.03.02
Lately I've been pondering what differentiates me from all of the other relatively cute and moderately unremarkable women out there.
I think that after some extensive research, I have come up with a workable theory:
I don't drink beer.
I think it sucks ass.
It makes me violently ill.
I hate it.
And all of the girls I know that are something like me all drink beer.
And perhaps not coincidentally, they have boyfriends, husbands, or some other variety of significant others.
Most boyfriends, husbands, or other varieties of significant others already enjoy beer, which gives them a simple thing that they share.
Plus, beer makes beer goggles, beer goggles make people sexier, and sexiness often leads to boom-boom in the bedroom. And oftentimes sex makes people inclined to couple up in other ways.
So, no beer = no sex = no couplehood.
If only beer didn't make me throw up so terribly violently.
Vomitting isn't sexy, and that is definitely not a couplehood-building activity.
I must ponder this further.
What's in your head?