...in my head

11.04.02

Because clearly we needed another expensive line of products that no one really wants to buy, corporate has taken it upon themselves to send us not only Matrix's sleek.look smoothing system line, but also their new Trix line.

The first features products that allegedly facilitate the smoothing and sleeking of unruly hair through the purchasement of $60 bucks worth of shampoo, conditioner, styling creme, and locking spray.

Of course, to achieve maximum smoothing and sleekification, you must use all four.

And also being a master at blowing out your hair straight with a paddle or round brush is useful.

The second is a line of five styling products that seem to replicate pretty much everything else that is available on the market, except with louder packaging, funkier names, and higher prices.

• A smoothing/glossing creme (GLOWTRIX), much like Redken's Outshine.
• A sticky gel/pomade hybrid(TUFTRIX), much like Sebastian's Threads.
• A texturizing spray (TEXTRIX), like Paul Mitchell's Extra Body Daily Boost, Matrix's Amplify Root Boost, KMS's Hair Play Texture Blast, and Rusk's Anim-8.com Texture Energizer.
• A waxy styling stick (FLiKTRIX), like Aveda Self Control, Back To Basic's Get Control Styling Stick, and KMS's Stick-It Wax.
• And a disgusting, dirty matte pomade product (DIRTYTRIX), that I can't think of something being exactly like it, off of the top of my head, but KMS's Hair Play Styling Grit, and Sebastian's Buff Pomade aren't too far off the mark.

I can't make sleek.looks work on my hair, I can barely even stand to use any of the damned TRIX things on people, and I'm supposed to aggressively peddle them for some stupid retail contest.

Now just look, we'll get everyone all in love with them, they'll get yanked by corporate, and we'll be forced to find another line with which to get everyone hooked up.

Yesterday & Tomorrow .

What's in your head?