11-13-00
Oh, gosh. Where to begin...
Even if you don't really care for this genre of music, I really must suggest seeing the Bloodhound Gang in concert, especially if you like white boys hollering and rapping to big beats and punkish musical overlays. Especially if you like naughty language. And most especially if you are a fan of Tom Green or the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow.
The show began with thousands of screaming minors crowd surfing in the are the size of my living room. The first band, whoever they were, sucked ass. Caviar, the second band, was very good. They're out of Chicago and play some mean tunes.
And then BHG played. And they took polaroids of their privvies and tossed them into the crowd. And they tore off the bass player's wifebeater and threw it to the crowd where it was instantly shredded*. And then the fun really began when they started throwing their equipment into the crowd for the roadies/bouncers to retrieve.
Apparently, a larger portion of the stage show is getting audience members to come up and do stupid shit for cash. Stupid stunt number one: for $100, a guy attempted to eat 20 Big Macs and wash it all down with a carton of Andersen-Erickson Half & Half. In essence, he got to sit on the stage the whole show, eating cold burgers and periodically taking a swig of creamer. Towards the end of the show, he tossed his cookies into a garbage can, yet kept on eating. Stupid Stunt #2: another chump was lured on stage to pee his pants for $50. He managed to do it, but they weren't impressed, got someone else to do it, and paid him the money instead. Stunt 3: two guys doing a crowd surfing relay to the Jaegermeister guy and back to the stage for $20.
Other things happened too, but the funniest bit was that everytime some guy came up on stage that displeased them, they'd have some hulking brute on their payroll issue an atomic wedgie. I'm sure there's some audience-related erectile dysfunction on-going from this tour. Girls were pulled up onstage, and one even flashed the crowd her boobies**, although she looked 12. The crowd did not seem to mind.
We stood safely at the back of the bar on the stairs where we could see and hear everything***. I had a good time. The boy had a good time. I think everyone else had a good time too. I can't even begin to tell you the rest of the events that happened because I don't have 4 hours to do it all. Suffice it to say that it rocked the house.
It was a pee pee poo poo musical good time.
How couldn't you love a band that has the chorus of their biggest hit as: "You 'n me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel****!"
*I know where you can purchase a piece of this shirt if you're interested.
**Because, HOORAY FOR BOOBIES!
***Remember, the venue was the size of my living room. We could have poked Jimmy Pop in the brown eye from the stairs and been okay, not that we're into that sort of thing. Although, I didn't get drunk and surly at this show, so no ass-kicking was delivered to the masses by your's truly. There was some chick behind us in line wearing a hot pink tube top that I really wanted to sock in the jaw for whining about how cold it was -- news flash, it's 30 degrees out, wear something more concealing than a TUBE TOP, moron.
****This line also works on invertebrates. Trust me, I know. *wink*
