04*24*01
Whenever I buy makeup from the girls working at the various cosmetic counters at Younkers, I am drowned with a veritable deluge of samples and freebies. I suppose it also doesn't help that I do all of their hair, too.
Anyways, I opened up my medicine cabinet the other day to do a little cleaning. Strange bottle of pills of an indeterminate nature had their contents flushed and the bottles thrown away. Empty tubes of creams and ointments were tossed in the trash, along with instructions for long-gone medications, and the ABC's of Skin Cancer pamplet that was formerly taped to the inside of the door.
After the purge, I was left with the top shelf full of bottles and tubes of a medicinal nature -- vitamins and painkillers, analgesics and antibiotics, antidepressants and antifungals. The second shelf was stuffed with bottles and tubes, droppers and drams, lotions and potions of a skin-soothing and restorative nature. And the bottom shelf containing and odd assorments of various skin cleaners and makeup removers, toners and astringents, hydrating creams and oil-free lotions to keep my skin supple and smooth.
It is the contents of the second shelf that I am going to concern myself with here, their story being the one most amusingly told for your entertainment value.
As previously mentioned, the counter girls of the cosmetic section of Younkers are extremely generous with samples and freebies. Looking at the contents of the second shelf, I found myself faced with tubes of wrinkle smoothers and under-eye circle removers, complexes and serums to combat the signs of aging, and an astonishing array of eye treatments designed to reduce puffiness, swelling, discoloration and wrinkling of the eye area -- all with names like daily eye saver and daily eye benefits and all about eyes, and my personal favorite, vitabolic yeux.
I didn't even know what half of these things were until I studied their packaging. However, I believe I have cracked the code of the skin treatment, and have decided to undergo a little experiment.
I plan to utilize the contents of the second shelf, in conjunction of the contents of the third shelf, to create a regimen of skincare that is guaranteed to not only make me look years younger, but will also cure cancer in laboratory rats, and fix global warming.
I have assembled a cleansing-clarifying-antiwrinkle/smoothing-eyesaving-deep moisturizing package of treatments for nighttime, and a cleansing-toning-eyesaving-light moisturizing package of potions for daytime use.
I will religiously follow these established regimens until my cabinet is devoid of tiny bottles and tubes marked "sample only - not for individual sale", or until I lose interest in the project.
I will report back with the details of my experience with the tiny bottle and tubes, hopefully looking smoother, more toned, and less wrinkly.
I must act quickly though, because Lancome's gift* with purchase is coming up at the end of the month, and I need to buy more mascara sometime soon.
Hopefully, it'll all be makeup and shower gel this time.
*As a sign of a cosmetic company's appreciation, several times a year they sucker you into spending far more than you intended to spend on an assortment of things you wanted and some you really didn't need, and then reward you with an unattractive makeup bag that is generally filled with makeup and treatments you don't wear or can't use.
I can't even begin to tell you how many lipsticks and eyeshadows I have foisted off on friends and family, or how many unsightly makeup bags I have donated to the Goodwill.
I've got Clinique, Lancome and Estee Lauder all breathing down my neck, so don't go judging me too harshly. I like to think of it as reciprocating with my clientele: I do their hair, and they sell me beauty goodies.
