04.26.01
I work for a maniac.
Overlord Carol received a dozen roses at work today, from her husband. When asked about the significance of the flowers by everyone who saw them, she said they were private joke between her and her husband.
Of course, as her underling and 'Official Knower of Too Much Information about Overlord Carol's Life', I got the real story.
Apparently she surprised her husband with a snazzy new set of panties from the Calvin Klein daywear collection. They were yellow, sheer, and apparently sexy enough to inspire Bruce to say, "Wow, you're as pretty as a yellow rose*, and smell twice as nice**."
As a surprise, she packed them*** in with his lunch. The roses were his response to this find.
I'll bet they have really hot sex tonight.
Freaky-ass perverts.
*Yellow roses are Overlord Carol's flower of choice. She has many of them growing around her house. Strangely, though, she despises receiving bouquets of flowers as gifts -- mostly, I would imagine, because Bruce charges them to the credit card, which she pays off each month. I believe she would much rather that he gave her the $60 instead, so she could buy groceries, or put gas in the lawnmower.
**I leave it to your imagination to guess what he was smelling, and where. (It may help to know that they have a very vivid and active sex life. I know, I have heard ALL about it. They use toys. Ew.)
***The unwashed underwear, duh. Personally, I don't think I'd want to eat a sandwich or a piece of fruit that shared space with dirty knickers.
