05.22.01
While watching The Martha pluck the meaty tails of cooked lobsters from their reddish, chitinous shells, so that she could replicate the Maine Lobster Roll for the viewing audience, I was struck by exactly how disgusting lobster really look.
I mean, I already know that lobster meat has a grotesque, rubbery texture, and a nasty, fishy taste.
I know that Jewish people don't eat them because they are icky, and proscribed by God Almighty.
And that I personally don't eat them because they are deadly, lethal poison*.
But as I watched The Martha rip the tails from the rest of the bodies, wiggling them all back and forth until the entire pieces of tail meat were free of the shells, I noticed a gob of icky green viscera hanging from one of them. It looked kind of like chewed up spinach, or maybe grasshopper spittle. Either way, it was gross.
Lobsters are just big, aquatic bugs.
I don't each cockroaches or grasshoppers, and I'm sure as hell not going to eat sea bugs**.
*I don't know about you, but I'm rather partial to being able to breathe through a normally-sized windpipe, instead of one that has puffed up like Angelina Jolie's lips. That whole gasping-wheezy, fighting for a breath thing is so last year.
**You know, even if they weren't deadly, lethal poison.
