05-23-00
I've been feeling incredibly fed up with my own life as of late. I feel trapped by my dead-end job, my lack of a degree, my lease, my empty bank account. I need some sort of egress. The phone needs to ring, I need to answer it and I need to escape this horrid fantasy.
Okay, it's not quite all that bad, but I am definitely broke and in a rut. This year coincides with my 10 year high school reunion. I think that's why all of this irritation and discontent has surfaced. In the 10 years since I graduated high school, I've managed to move 25 miles from my parents house, gone to college, had a nervous breakdown and dropped out of college, lived off my credit cards for a year and a half until they were all maxxed out, thus fucking my credit until I'm well into my 30's, dated #1 long-term boyfriend [approx 6 months] that was fucking my best friend the whole time, went to beauty school, got a job working at a salon that paid so crappily I had to sell plasma to put a roof over my head and food in my stomach, had nervous breakdown number two that made me change salons and start taking an antidepressant that I got physically addicted to, dated #2 long-term boyfriend who had serious drinking and depression problems, moved into my own apartment, re-enrolled in college, quit smoking, got a nose job [it's a little more complex than that, but that's what it boils down to], joined a gym, and continue to work at the same salon for almost 4 years.
Doing hair is a respectable job, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't take a post-doctorate degree to work a pair of clippers. It's vo-tech. In a way, I dread going to my college reunion. My life isn't so horrible, but I have nothing to show for it but the nose on my face and the firm ass I'm sitting on. What do you do? "I'm a doctor, my husband's a lawyer, and our three lovely children are all in montessori!" What do you do? "Um, hair. But check out my pert nose and tight ass! Oh, Oh! And I go to art school part time!"
You just see, it'll happen.
And the worst part of it is that not only do I only live 25 miles from my parents, which is about 32 miles from my old high school, but I live in the same town that I moved to, go to the same college I initially came here for, have the same last name, have a listing in the white pages, and am easily found online, AND I am, apparently, the most difficult person to track down on the planet. Either that, or my invitations to my 5th, and I would guess, 10th class reunions got lost in the mail.
I secretly hoped the invitations hadn't gone out yet, and that I just hadn't gotten mine yet, but I ran into someone from my class today, and she informed me that not only had they gone out, but she didn't remember seeing my name on the list of people they couldn't track down. She did give me the name of the person to send the nasty email to, which I did. I still feel shunned though.
Now I just have to find a date.
