05-25-00
Random body parts and recollections:
eyes
Dr. Hand put the orange liquid in my eye that allows him to check for corneal anomalies when my eye is looked at under blacklight. Remember my angry red eye from the evil Ciba Focus contact? Guess who has somewhere between 30 and 40 microabrasions all over the surface of her cornea! So, I have new contacts, but I can't wear the left one for several days. I do, however, get to use these fancy Swiss homeopathic Similasan eyedrops. "Clears and Soothes dry eyes, red eyes! Healthy relief!" I'm putting herbal extracts in my eyes, but the doctor says it's all good.
testicles
The Tom Green Cancer Special is on. I don't care for the Tom Green Show in general, but I read the interview he gave to Rolling Stone, and it intrigued me. The man has a childish, almost Rainman-esque need to repeat stupid words over and over again. "I had a testicle removed, a ball, one of my nuts. A testicle." And, I can't help but think it's very brave that he took this horrible thing that happened to him and turned it into a show to entertain the kids on eMpTV! Watching Glen handle the removed, cancerous testicle was strange. The doctor pointed out all of the tumerous bits, and I couldn't help but wonder about the friendship that ties two men strongly enough for one to handle the other one's testicle, even if it is removed. Most heterosexual men wouldn't do that for one another.
legs
Today, I learned that while depilatory technology has advanced a lot in the last 12 or so years, when Nair recommends that you avoid using their product on irritated or "broken" skin, they REALLY mean it. It looks like I've been wrassling on jute twine carpeting or something. My legs are thrashed. Ow.
naked feet and armpits
One of the banes of my existence is the lack of insulation in the salon I work at. In the winter, we all wear thick wool sweaters and long johns to keep warm, and in the summer we all wear sundresses and sandals to work, and then change into knee highs or ankle socks and put on closed-toe shoes, and add a light-weight cardigan to the mix, or put on a t-shirt under the dress. You see, as far as we knew, state health codes required that we wear hosiery, closed-toe shoes, and clothing that restricted the access of our underarms. So imagine my consternation when Younkers adopted a summertime wardrobe that included sleeveless sundresses, no hosiery of any kind and dress sandals! I fumed. I protested. I was green with envy.
Until today. I came into work wearing my capri pants and sandals and Carol told me not to change my shoes because the law had changed. We can have all the naked toes and armpits we want, which makes me so unbelievably happy. I didn't really want to have to invest in more pantyhose or cardigans, and I have cute sandals I never wear. I might even get more. There's the adorable pair of black Nine West Cloud 9 sandals I have my eye on...
