06.11.01
If asked, I would have to say that the single most wonderful part of living alone is being able to start shedding clothing at the front door, wander around nekkid all day, and lounge around watching television and eating applesauce and waffles in your birthday suit.
I think that the second best thing about living alone is that you don't have anyone else nagging at you about leaving your clothing all over the kitchen floor.
Nor averting their gaze as you scamper around in the buff all day.
Nor running around with paper towels for you to sit upon to protect their furniture from your skanky bare ass, complaining about how you're hogging the television and vcr, and that "The Pallbearer" isn't a very funny comedy, and how could you have rented something with David Schwimmer starring in it -- which starts a fight about how at least you aren't the one that rents Matt LeBlanc videos.
And no one is screaming about you eating on the sofa, without a plate for the waffles, which are probably not yours in the first place, and OH MY GOD HOW COULD YOU EAT THE APPLESAUCE FROM THE JAR? WERE YOU RAISED BY RACOONS AND POSSUMS? WHY DON'T YOU JUST RIFLE THROUGH THE GODDAMNED GARBAGE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, YOU DISGUSTING PIG?
