06-13-00
How super cool would it be to have a secret life?
You sometimes hear about some travelling salesman who had three families with wives and children in three different towns, none of them knowing about the other two, or some suburban housewife that goes into the city and turns tricks until noon, shops the rest of the afternoon, and then gets home in time to make dinner. Those are some damn fine secret lives. Of course, they're also deceitful and wrong, but somehow admirable nonetheless. I barely have the energy to make it through a normal, unexciting day. There's no way I could pimp my sorry ass all morning for shoe money, 5 days a week, or work hard enough selling anything to pay for three mortgages, 3 wives, umpteen sets of braces and station wagons. I think that's why I sometimes get sucked into Jerry Springer. How do these skanks manage to find the time to strip for a living, have a husband and three children, and then carry on tawdry affairs with the other "talent" at the titty bars they work at? And how do the husbands not know?
You never hear about admirable secret lives. "Yeah, John was a hideous bastard of an ad executive, but during his spare time, he worked with lepers and dumpster diving vegans!" It just never happens.
Of course, a secret life would be entirely wasted on me. I seem to have this strange compulsion to share all the details of my life with anyone who is willing to listen. Or read.
