06-28-00
Carol has been unreliable as of late, blaming tardiness and general forgetfulness all on perimenopause and brain damage, and it is beginning to rub off onto me. Monday night I decided it was actually tuesday night, and set my alarm accordingly. To this end, I awoke about 3 hours after I should have, and ended up being 2 hours late for work. Fortunately, no one really seemed to give a damn, it being summer and all. I even had time to read the latest issues of Working Mother and Women's Sports & Fitness, in between my rigorous duties of folding towels, fiddling with my own hair and thumb-twiddling.
And thanks to my strange predilection for being cremated from nipple to navel, I spent much of today glowering and wincing. Feeling that I wasn't getting the optimal UV exposure during my bouts of belly and ass burning, and suspecting I was doing something wrong in the tanning bed, I consulted with Meredith of the intimate apparel department, adjacent to the salon. Meredith is a natural redhead with lots of freckles, and much like my near-albino self, definitely shouldn't even go anywhere near the sun, much less into a tanning salon, but manages to somehow maintain a fairly healthy-looking bronzey glow.
According to Miss Meredith, I am not moving around in the bed as I should be; I should spend much of my time rolling over and over with my arms all akimbo and legs splayed, so as to achieve a nice, all-over glow. Personally, I believe this all sounds very suspect and overtly difficult. If you weren't supposed to just lie there, wouldn't they show you a brief "How to achieve an optimal tan in the Bakomatic2000" training video when you signed up? But what do I know? My ass is fire engine red, and I feel like the Brazillian fire ants are visiting again.
On a happier note, I took my botany final and got an A+ on it. Along with my midterm A+, this means an A+ in the course, which should make my parents happy. If you give someone a class for their birthday, they should at least get all they can out of it, right?
