08.25.01
Since askpixie was lacking for questions:
Is there a difference between sexes, regarding the period necessary to determine attraction?
A discussion I started amongst friends, we attempted to debate when a choice of "I'd date such-and-such," is made. And if it differed amongst sexes, or merely point of view. One statement made by Guy X, is that it was determined primarily by physical attraction immediately. A statement by Girl Y was that an hour of conversation she could determine whether she'd date them. The guy felt that most guys operated the same way he did, and Girl Y thought she was not normal in her habits.
And I didn't realize we were supposed to have standards for dating. My bad. (Actually, my standards are only occassionally brought out into the light of day. A chance for humor is not to be neglected.)
With your vast knowledge of the human psyche, how does it work?
NW Pixiefan
(You see, there's this danger is asking multiple questions. The audience may attribute questions to an undeveloped mental state, incorrectly. Tsk. I can come up with poor questions for askpixie all day.)
NWP,
Hmm. you seek some sort of rules of attraction. which I'm not entirely sure exist. I can however explain roughly how it works for me. Keep in mind that I may or may not be a normal average American female.
Girl meets boy. Girl instantly assesses boy on superficial details, such as appearance, hygeine, package, hair, etc. Immediate decision to pursue or not pursue guy is made. Sometimes further assessment is required.
Girl meets boy. Girl finds boy generally attractive - he is her general physical type and level of cuteness, but he's kinda stinky and he has really bad hair. Girl either talks to boy discretely to determine whether or not the stinkiness is a regular situation, or if it is some sort of hygeine-free holiday, or covertly finds out what the dilly-o is. What about the hair? Hair can always be changed, and if not, he can always wear some sort of headgear, should he be determined to be acceptible.
Okay, so girl has determined boy is superficially acceptible. Boy may or may not reciprocate the interest, but if he does, further interaction occurs. (Call it beta-testing if you will.) During such interaction, the girl will further assess his feasibility as a potential partner of some sort, determine that he needs further testing, or eliminate him from her universe. And so on.
Unfortunately, it can take a fair amount of beta-testing to determine that a hottie is in fact a complete knob, unworthy of her time.
And, also unfortunately, boy frequently doesn't reciprocate girl's initial interest for a variety of reasons, so most of this in primarily theoretical.
So, yes, there are standards for dating, be they appearance, intelligence, interest, sexually, or whatnot driven. And, if you don't agree, you're some sort of freak that shouldn't be allowed to dip your toes in the gene pool in the first place, not that you'll have any success in the first place. Nyah..
Hope that helps!
-- pixie
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| (disclaimer: as you can imagine, askpixie is not a licensed therapist, nor is she a doctor of anything. she has, however, had enough problems in her life, and enough damn therapy, that she can pretty much handle most of what you could probably throw at her. and whatever she can't directly answer herself, she will do her best to find an answer for you elsewhere. unless otherwise noted, all thoughts and opinions expressed herein, therein, and whereverin you're looking, are © pixiemartin, 2001. you gotta problem with that, punk?) |
