08.27.01
Earlier today, I heard on the radio that R&B songstress Aaliyah had died in a plane crash.
And, for one brief shining minute, I thought to myself, "Thank God! Only 37* more cookie cutter R&B songstresses to go!"
For you see, as a pop-radio listener, I am more than tired of "Try Again" and "Case of the Ex", her two big radio hits.
But then, I had a twinge of remorse, and felt terribly about the 8 people that had died prematurely in the accident.
And a few seconds later, I felt even worse, because the radio announcer went on to share that not only had Aaliyah just finished playing Akasha in Queen of the Damned, but that she was to have played a principal and quite integral role in the two Matrix sequels, and that the producers would have to scramble to replace her (and train the new person up to her specifications).
Okay, I'm really shallow, but I happen to be interested in the welfare of these cinematic projects, and I want them to come out as quickly as possible. Now they're probably going to play all of her songs non-stop, and everytime some actor from one of the films is pimping it somewhere, they're going to have to touch on her sad demise, and it'll be all icky.
And we all know how I feel about icky.
*This number is a gross approximation of the number of cookie cutter R&B songstresses that need to go. As an example, the elimination of Destiny's Child would not only go a long way towards restoring the balance of good in the universe, but it would knock the overall number down by 3.
