09.22.01

I was in a liquor store not to long ago and they had a bottle of brandy that had a full size apple in the bottle. The french are big on doing wierd shit so i ignored it. Then i got to thinking. How the hell do you get a full size perfect apple into a brandy bottle? You cant squish it through the hole. That would well, squish it and look all nasty in the bottle. More importantly how do you get the apple back out so you can eat it without having lots of glass shards embeding themselves in your gums? Do you think this is a plot on the part of the french to simply take up room in the bottle so they dont have to sell you the full 750ml?

Those crafty French have a long-standing tradition of doing crazy stuff like this. Sometimes it is apples, sometimes it is pears, sometimes it is full-grown kittens.

Okay, I made up that last part.

According to online and cinematic sources, an empty bottle is placed over a teensy, ripening fruit, which is allowed to mature to full-sized fruity goodness, before the fruit and the bottle are picked.

I suppose some sort of washing occurs, and then the alcohol of choice, usually brandy, is poured into the bottle.

The booze takes on the flavor of the fruit, and as long as the fruit is covered with alcohol, it remains preserved. In order to get it out, I believe you'd either need a glass cutter, or some damn luck in breaking the bottle.

And yes, I believe it is a plot to screw the average stupid consumer out of money by:

  1. Taking up about a third of the bottle's space with non-alcohol,
  2. Advising that the bottle constantly be refilled with alcohol so the fruit stays preserved, thus necessitating the purchase of another bottle of non-fruited alcohol,
  3. Making it impossible to eat the fruit without destroying the bottle, the fruit, and yourself in the process.

Yesterday & Tomorrow.

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