9.24.00

Dear Pixiemartin,

Having recently become an adultress, I'm not entirely familiar with the whats and whyfors of protocol and procedure concerning this status. I do not own a sewing machine, and I lack the patience to hand-tack all of the red a's to the front of my blouses. Is it appropriate to use Stitch Witch and a steam iron? Also, do you find it more cost effective to make your own scarlet letters, or is it better to purchase the pre-fabricated ones at the craft store? Any other advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks,

Hester

Dear Hester,

That's a real pickle of a dilemma you're in!

While I myself prefer the polished look of a machine-sewn Scarlet A, I think that if you neatly ironed on one of those pre-fab, craft store scarlet letters, no one be any the wiser.

However, costwise, you have to ask yourself if your time is better spent with a stack of fabric on Thursday nights, cutting out and basting together a bunch of A's, while you watch the antics of those crazy kids on Friends and Will & Grace, and the rest of the Must See TV line-up, because cutting out stuff is the most time consuming and crappy part of sewing. While the previously constructed letters may seem more expensive, your time has a dollar amount, too.

I would suggest starting out with a few basic black or white t-shirts, perhaps a white blouse or two, and adding to your collection of shame-ware a piece at a time. Once you've gotten over the initial shunning from the herd, I say invest in a Bedazzle® and fix yourself up one of those snazzy rhinestone shirts. People will think you got it at Hot Topic or Gadzooks, and you'll be a hit at parties.

If you should find the patience to make your own letters out of fabric, don't forget to use a nice backing to give the letters some body. Once you feel more comfortable, you'll learn that pinning the pattern for the letter on the edge of a fold and carefully cutting it out can yield you a well-formed A with half the work. Avoid cutting on the bias though, because the letters are harder to sew on, and are inclined to warp funny in the wash. And don't be afraid to experiment with your fabric choices. Just because you're now a social pariah, doesn't mean you can't be a fashionably accessorized one!

Goodluck!

Pixiemartin

Yesterday and Tomorrow.