9.29.00 (v2.0)
I wrote a truly amusing anecdote about this phantom pain that kept me up all night last night, and about all of the strange thoughts that accompanied my wakefulness, in amongst the crying, vexing and hyperventilating, but when I tried to save it, the computer froze up and ate it.
Once again, I am thwarted by technology.
The upshot is that I woke up at 4:18am, to a stabbing pain in the interstitial space between my upper squishy bits and my lower squishy bits, mid-abdomen circa diaphragm. After many hours of being unable to breathe, sleep, move, or be otherwise undisturbed, I decided that a little demon with a pitchfork was using my diaphragm as a hammock, and every time I moved or breathed he would get squished, and was stabbing me in retaliation. I determined that my only viable recourse was to take enough Advil to deaden my pain receptors so that I could smother the little bastard and not feel the pricking of the tines.
After several hours of continued pain following analgesic consumption, I decided that the demon was trying to gnaw it's way out through my left lung. I began to think I wouldn't be able to work, since working involves breathing and moving around. I got even more upset than I already was, and managed to pass out entirely.
I awoke later to the alarm, cautiously stretched, and found myself devoid of pain.
Hair was done, books were bound, errands were ignored. A 9 point day. Other than exceptional exhaustion, I have nothing else to report.
Carry on.
