i'm back in vogue!

...i'm inspirational

06.30.05

I got a very sweet email today from someone telling me that I'd motivated him to start a blog of his own.

Yay!

More pixiefanboys!

And the very first entry includes an entire section all about how much I rock.

Also, today I was trying to determine if I'd written about Nik or Cookie yet, so I did a websearch for "pixiemartin" and "hair" and found this link to one of my posts. Those Brits are just damned wacky.

Man, I've still got so many stories left to tell that I can't remember what I have or haven't said yet.

Plus, you know, I've made the Georgia font trendy again.

And now, to bed.

a job less stressful.

...fun with coworker's names

06.29.05

In the last month, I have hired two new stylists.

One is a lady that has an MBA, is computer-savvy, and has worked in the real world long enough to have retired from a professional job. She has always been interested in doing hair, so her husband sent her to beauty school. And she wandered into my salon because she loves the store, loves doing hair, and thought that a combination of the two would be more than ideal.

Rico is a flamboyant Puerto Rican gayboy from Miami. His work is flawless, he speaks Spanish, and he's very polite and hardworking.

Mostly, they're making my job easier.

Especially because we're losing a staff member at the end of July. She decided to move back down South.

As an aside, I would just like to say that despite the fact that I am often a little stressed about work things, I am so glad that this isn't my life anymore.

Now I do things like enter my co-workers' names into the Wu-tang Clan Name Generator and giggle:

Me= New Fast Automatic F-REEK*
Stylist1 = Tha 23rd Buchan
Stylist2 = Well-Liked Assman
Stylist3 = Radiophonic Oddity
Stylist4 = Ol` Mucky Terrahawk
Stylist5 = Ungrateful Ninja (or Promiscuous Protestah -- if you use her married name)
Stylist6 = Pre-Raphaelite Shaolin
Stylist7 = Dubious Masturbatah-X
Admin = Homicidal Terrahawk
GM = Auxillary Priest
ASM = Cheeky Delinquent
MM = Inscrutable Drama Queen
DM = Sheepish Lord of Chaos
LP = Spunky Misunderstood Genius

Bwahaha. My boss is Sheepish Lord of Chaos. That's definitely up there with Overlord Carol's name -- which was Overlord something the last time I did it, but now comes up as "Lazy-Assed Destroyer." Which is much more fitting.
..........

*If I do pixiemartin, it's Gratuitous F-REEK. Which is interesting because Lxxxx and Martin are definitely not what I would consider to be the same enough to both score F-REEK.

taking a stand for oneself.

... and grabbing them by the whatzits

06.28.05

In addition to getting being taken off of the 602-973-9535 call list by directly contacting Turn-Key Solutions, I contacted the Chicago Tribune to let them know about my displeasure with their telemarketer of choice:

From: pixiemartin
Sent: Monday, June 27, 2005 6:47 PM
To: Consumer Services, CTC
Subject: telemarketing

Does your company employ Turn-Key Solutions in Phoenix, AZ, to telemarket your services to potential customers?
I ask, because I would swear that the man I spoke to on the phone offered me a subscription to your paper, and then wouldn't take no for an answer until I hung up.
I also ask because twice now since I told them I wasn't interested, I've had them call me and not leave a message. You know, in addition to the 9 other times they've called me in the last 3 months, 6 of those in the last week alone.
If you do employ their services, you might want to reconsider, because they're rude, harassing, and have numerous complaints against them for violating the Do Not Call list.
pixiemartin

They responded with:

"Dear pixiemartin,
"Thank you for contacting the Chicago Tribune on the Internet.
"The Chicago Tribune’s intention is to provide our customers with the best quality of customer service. Your satisfaction is our first priority, and we apologize for any inconvenience we have caused you. Please reply to this e-mail with the phone number this individual used you contact you and we can have this removed.
"If you have any additional questions or concerns, please contact us.
"Thank you and have a great day!
"Sincerely,
"Hope Carter
Interactive Services Representative
Chicago Tribune
1-800-TRIBUNE ex 6349
Consumerservices@tribune.com"

and I replied with:

The number I have been called from 14 times in the last three months is 602-973-9535. My phone number is 773-xxx-xxxx..
I called one of their corporate numbers listed in the phone directory, and was told that I would be removed from their database within 24 hours.
I mostly brought this to your attention, because this particular number representing Turn-Key has been bandied about on the internet as being a nuisance. You might want to visit this site to see just what a few people have said about this company's business practices.
pixiemartin

Don't mess with the damned pixie, or she goes above your head and complains to someone about you.

Tweak, at work, was contacted recently by Marshall Field's collections department about a delinquent bill from November, for almost $300. Now, he worked for Field's from 1996 - 1999, and was required to use their credit card to receive his discount, but then cancelled his account with them when he left their employ in '99. (Much like I did with Younkers and Carsons.)

Apparently, someone boo-boo'd somewhere, and a charge was made using his old credit card number, which reactivated and reopened the account. The charge was made from Lansing, Michigan on 11/24/04. The largest problem with this is that Tweak was at work in Chicago, Illinois, the entire day, and can prove it. And also, that someone keying in the wrong account number shouldn't be able to use a cancelled account number. It should have registered as not being a usable number, and the person should have been asked for another form of tender, and/or the associate making the sale should have been directed to contact Credit Account Services immediately.

So, Tweak called them a couple of times, was passed around from person to person the entire time, and was ultimately told that he was responsible for the charges. Obviously, he's disputing that, which is exactly what he should do, and he wrote a letter to the Credit Billing Disputes department of Field's, explaining his problem. He also filed a police report and did all the stuff that their Credit Card Fraud department had instructed him to do.

And some time has passed without anything being done on Field's end of things.

Now he's totally freaking out because this event is currently negatively reflecting upon his financial credibility. Having an extremely-past-due balance with missed payments on a credit report isn't so attractive when you're trying to refinance your condo.

I read the letter he wrote, and I told him he should word it more strongly. Instead of saying that it was inconveniencing him, he should say that if this is how they treat their customers, past and present, he couldn't in good faith continue to shop at any of their stores, and would recommend the same to everyone he knows. And that if this wasn't resolved promptly in a manner that pleased him, he would be contacting the Better Business Bureau, the Attorney General's office, and whichever State Representative would be most interested in one of their constituents being unjustly penalized by a corporate error.

Grab them by the whatzits and get their full attention. I told him to put the smack down on Field's. Give them the whammy. Shake 'em up. Make 'em whimper at his heels. Show them who's boss.

But, he decided to leave it as he wrote it, so he'll just have to see what happens. He just wants the problem resolved and for them to acknowledge their mistake and apologize -- an apology which he might be waiting a very long time to hear.

I think they'd snap to attention faster if he was more menacing, but he's really just a big girl at heart, and doesn't have the stomach for that sort of thing*.
..........
*Strangely, I don't have the stomach for most anything, but I am more than able to threaten, cajole, and menace companies that piss me off. Maybe it's because I'm a smaller girl.

my mom kicks your mom's ass.

...i love my mom*

06.27.05

My mom is so cool.

Today, she emailed me the following:

"Subject: 602 NUMBER

"TURN-KEY SOLUTIONS IN PHOENIX IS AN ADULT WEB-SITE SELLER.
THEY HAVE NUMEROUS COMPLAINTS AGAINST THEM FOR VIOLATING DO NOT CALL LIST.

"MOM"

Seriously, how cool is that?

I mean, would your mom investigate some telemarketing firm that's stalking you from afar?

Let's see:

Turn-Key Solutions
(602) 347-7366
(602) 242-8249
6019 N 43rd Ave
Pheonix, AZ 85019

I wonder how they'd feel if I called them up everyday, didn't leave a message, and then hung up on them if they actually answered?
..........

*Of course, I love my mom everyday.

She's my best friend #1.

It's just that sometimes I extra love her, because she super rocks some days more than the normal amount of rocking she does on other, more normal days.

howl's flying castle

...even his voice is dreamy

06.26.05

Back in the day, my friend Tasha was a movie reviewer for the Daily Iowan, and her love of the cinema has not waned an iota since those days. In fact, now she works in the AV Club of The Onion, and gets to watch better movies, and even interviews people like Denis Leary.

Earlier this month, she wrote about Howl's Moving Castle, which is a movie based on a book she loved as a child. Now, I love Japanese animation, and I love young adult fantasy novels, and pretty much anything media-based that Tasha's recommended in the past has always entertained me.

Plus, the English voice cast of the movie has Christian Bale playing the voice of Howl. As has been previously established, I adore Christian Bale in pretty much all forms - juvenile, chubby, scruffy, maniacal, militant, ecumenical, dragon-slaying, whatever.

So, I went to see the movie today, and it was totally awesome. The only remotely sucky thing about it was the fact that because it is technically a children's movie, or at least is billed as being such, there were noisy children in the theater, asking a lot of stupid questions throughout the course of the movie.

The first time the moving castle walked into view on the screen, the kid to the right of me, who had to be at least ten, asked his mother, "What's that walking building?"

Oh, I don't know... maybe it's THE MOVING CASTLE that the film title references. You know, the movie HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE.

I didn't say a word. I just clutched the arm of my seat a little tighter, and then took a long swallow of my $3.95 bottle of water from the concession stand.

I wasn't too terribly pleased with the child's relative proximity to my person in the first place*, and I knew it would go to a bad place if I opened my mouth.

So I didn't.

I just ignored the woman's running explanation of the entire plot of the movie to her idiot child, and focused on the loveliness of the film. I wish it had been a little longer, though. I'm sure there are things that the book explained more thoroughly, and I bet they would have been as glorious to see on the big screen as the rest of it was.

Despite the presence of noisy children, I enjoyed this movie so much that I am so totally buying it when it comes out on DVD, and I'll totally go see it again if anyone wants to go see it with me. I'd even see it on IMAX, if it were playing there.

In fact, I enjoyed it so much that it made me want to sprint across the street to Borders and buy a copy. Which I kind of did, after the film ended. However, according to Border's Title Sleuth, it is out of print and takes several days to arrive at the store.

I did take the opportunity to read the back of several other books by the author, and have decided that I would like to read pretty much all of them in the near future.

And in fact, when I got home from the movie, I ordered Howl's Moving Castle, The Castle in the Air, and the The Chronicles of Chrestomanci Vols. 1 & 2 from Amazon. Now I just need to get Mixed Magics : Four Tales of Chrestomanci and Conrad's Fate (Chrestomanci Books)**.

In summation, I recommend seeing this movie.
..........
* I mean, there were easily 2/3rd of the seats in the theater available, and yet this yappy woman and her yappy stupid child had to park their asses immediately next to me. I don't really like strangers sitting next to me in a full theater, so the whole sitting next to me when there is more than enough space for EVERYONE in the theater to comfortably have a vacant seat in between each and every one of them sort of rubs me the wrong way.

Strangers in close proximity during Batman Begins sneak preview, I accept. This invasion of space though? This rankles me.

**Hmm. I do have a birthday in like 13 days...

askpixie - traduzca, por favor.

askpixie.

06.25.05

Boletín de prensa de Quest Race
CARRERA URBANA

Día Mundial del`Medio`Ambiente
México DF, 5 de Junio de 2005
La Ciudad Más Grande del Mundo, con uno de sus días mas bellos y calurosos, fueron magnífico escenario para que un poderoso ejército de paz, cabalgara en sus corceles de hierro.

Ahora escalando con cuerdas el segundo piso del periférico, luego viajando en el Metro con todo y bicicleta, después conquistando La Torre Mayor hasta el piso 51 por las escaleras o haciendo ciclismo de montaña en la escalinata del Auditorio Nacional. No son atletas, ni deportistas comunes, son otra cosa, podríamos compararlos con disciplinados soldados con los que se pudiera formar el ejército más poderoso del mundo, si es que no fueran enemigos de las armas y la violencia.

Unas son bellas mujeres, otros son niños, viejos o jóvenes. Sin distinción… aquí la apariencia, la posición económica o social no importan, nadie se fija. Encontramos hombres y mujeres muy altos los otros no tanto, aquellos son musculosos estos leones rasurados, por aquí vemos alguno flaco otro gordo, moreno o güero, descubrimos equipos formados por padre e hijo y una mamá con su hija, también los hay con dotes naturales, mientras otros con dotes adquiridas por el sacrificio y el esfuerzo, sin embargo el común denominador es el entusiasmo y una indomable voluntad para terminar las duras pruebas y llegar a la meta en Chapultepec, en donde sudorosos y cansados nadie se queja, todo el mundo se divierte; su deporte no es la simple carrera, ni la pura bicicleta, ni el triatlón, su deporte ahora… es de aventura, son la nueva generación, son:

Elite de conquistadores de Quest Race.

Alrededor de 150 equipos de dos personas y diez distintas categorías, desde la categorí de los elites que hicieron un espectacular ascenso, con cuerda y jumar, al segundo piso del periférico, hasta la de principiantes, pasando por intermedios y avanzados, se unieron a la celebración del día mundial del medio ambiente, la Secretaria del Medio Ambiente de DF, Claudia Sheinbaum acompañada por altas autoridades del Gobierno, dio el banderazo de salida a las 8:30 en punto, en los puentes de San Antonio, la meta en la segunda sección de Chapultepec. La seguridad brindada por el Gobierno del DF fue impecable, asistidos por la policía del DF y por más de 200 personas entre los que se encontraba el staff profesional de Quest Race formado por connotados deportistas de aventura.

Por si lo anterior fuera poco, los atletas de aventura fueron recibidos en la meta por un festival cultural-musical organizado por la autoridad del DF.

Los ocho estupendos Iconos de la Gran Ciudad:

1. El segundo piso del periférico
2. La Ciclo Vía
3. El Metro
4. El Paseo de la Reforma
5. El Ángel de la Independencia
6. El Auditorio Nacional
7. La Torre Mayor
8. Chapultepec

Magníficamente escenarios escogidos por Fernando Trejo, Director de Quest Race en donde se efectuaron las duras pruebas de aventura. Ver resultados oficiales en www.carreranocturna.com

Atentamente
Quest Race

Okay, so babelfish is translating that as the following (with my reinterpretation in parentheses):

"Quest Race Press Bulletin
URBAN RACE

"World-wide Day of the Medio.ambiente Mexico DF, 5 of June of 2005 the Biggest City of the World, with one of their beautiful and warm days but, was magnificent scene so that a powerful army of peace, rode in his corceles of iron.

(On June 5, 2005, International Environmental Day, the Federal District of Mexico -- the Biggest City of the World, was the magnificent scene of a powerful army of peace, riding steeds of iron.)

"Now scaling with cords the second floor of the peripheral one, soon traveling in the Meter yet and bicycle, later conquering the Greater Tower until floor 51 by the stairs or making cycling of mountain in the perron of the National Audience. They are not athletes, nor sport common, are another thing, we could compare them with disciplined soldiers with whom the powerful army the more of the world could be formed, if it is that they were not enemy of the arms and the violence.

(Scaling the second floor of the peripheral one - auxiliary? - by rope, then traveling on the Metro by bicycle, and later conquering La Torre Mayor's 51 floors by climbing stairs, or mountain biking the flight of steps of the Auditorio Nacional, these men and women are not atheletes or regular sports fans, but something else. We could call them disciplined soldiers with whom the most powerful army in the world could be formed, if they weren't firmly against weapons and violence.)

"They are beautiful women, others are young, old or young. Without distinction... here the appearance, the economic or social position does not matter, nobody pays attention. We found men and very high women, the others not as much, those that are muscular, shaved lions, this way we see some skinny another fat person, colored person or güero, we discovered equipment formed by father and son and a mother with her daughter, also is with natural dowries, while others with dowries acquired by the sacrifice and the effort, nevertheless the common denominator is the enthusiasm and an indomitable will to finish the hard tests and to arrive at the goal in Chapultepec, in where sudorosos and tired nobody complaint, everybody is amused; its sport is the simple race, neither the pure bicycle, nor triatlón, its sport now... is of adventure, is the new generation, is:

(They are beautiful women, others with children, the old and the young. Here there is no importance placed on appearance, economic status, or social position, because these things don't matter and they are ignored. We found very tall men and women, and others who are less so; muscular shaved lions; the skinny and the fat; colored people or güero*. We discover teams of father and son, and a mother and her daughter. Some people with natural ability, while others with abilities acquired through hard work and sacrifice; and all of them sharing the enthusiasm and indomitable will to finish the difficult challenges and arrive at their goal in Chapultepec, where sweaty and tired, but without complaint, everyone is happy. The sport is simple -- no longer purely bicycling or triathalon. It's challenge and adventure, and appeals to the new generation of:)

"Elite of conquerors of Quest Race. Around 150 equipment of two people and ten different categories, from the category of elites that made a spectacular ascent, with cord and jumar, to the second floor of the peripheral one, to the one of nascent, happening through intervals and advanced, they were united to the celebration of the world-wide day of the medio.ambiente, the Secretary of the Medio.ambiente of the DF, Claudia Sheinbaum accompanied by high authorities of the Government, o'clock gave banderazo from exit to 8:30, in the bridges of San Antonio, the goal in the second section of Chapultepec. The security offered by the Government of the DF was impeccable, attended by the police of the DF and more than 200 people between whom was the professional staff of Quest Race formed by connotados sport of adventure.

(The elite competitors of the Quest Race. Around 150 teams of two people in ten different categories, from the veteran players that spectacularly ascend the peripheral one with rope and jumar**, to the amateur beginner, passing through intermediate and advanced, all celebrating International Environmental Day. At 8:30, from the bridges of San Antonio, the Environmental Secretary of the DF, Claudia Sheinbaum, along with high members of Goverment, waved the starting flag to begin the the second half of the event, the race to the finish line at Chapultepec. The DF's Governmental security was impeccable, attended by the DF police, and more than 200 people, between whom was the professional staff of Quest Race, formed to promote adventure sporting.)

"In case the previous thing outside little, the adventure athletes were received in the goal by a festival cultural-musical comedy organized by the authority of the DF.

(And in case that wasn't enough, the adventure athletes were treated at the finish to a cultural-musical comedy festival, organized under the authority of the DF.)

"The eight wonderful Icons of the Great City:

1. The second floor of the periphery***

2. the Ciclo Via

3. The Metro

4. El Paseo de al Reforma,

5. El Ángel de la Independencia

6. The National Auditorium

7. La Torre Mayor

8. Chapultepec

"Magnificently scenes chosen by Fernando Trejo, Director of Quest Race in where the hard tests of adventure took place.

(The magnificent places where the difficult challenges occured, chosen by Fernando Trejo, Director of Quest Race.)

"To see official results in www.carreranocturna.com

(To see the official results, please visit... you know.)

"Kindly,
Quest Race"

Well, golly gee. I'm sure flattered that you'd think I'd care about some sort of adventure challenge happening in the Mexico that terminates in Chapultepec.

Because I don't.

But, I did apparently care enough to try and figure out what the fuck the message said, because babelfish sure didn't help me very much.

Sometimes I have too much free time.

-- pixie

**********

*No idea what that means.

**A type of climbing device.

***Peripheral does have a definition that means "auxiliary." I was wondering if maybe there was an auxiliary building that they were actually referring to, because "the peripheral" sounds weird as a destination.

do you have a question for askpixie? mail: askpixie(at)pixiemartin(dot)com

(if you want to know about some form of thermal relaxing, click here.)

If pixie can't help, you're screwed.™

(disclaimer: as you can imagine, askpixie is not a licensed therapist, nor is she a doctor of anything. she has, however, had enough problems in her life, and enough damn therapy, that she can pretty much handle most of what you could probably throw at her. and whatever she can't directly answer herself, she will do her best to find an answer for you elsewhere. unless otherwise noted, all thoughts and opinions expressed herein, therein, and whereverin you're looking, are © pixiemartin, 2005. you gotta problem with that, punk?)

private reserve and public annoyance

... luxuriant and well-read enough already

06.24.05

One of the particularly nice benefits of working for a corporately-own salon is gratis. For you see, when a large company has a large account with a product vendor, the vendors tend to be very generous in wooing the client, namely us.

At Younkers (Saks Inc), whenever a company would launch a new product line, or relaunch a newly restyled old product line, we'd get a selection of stylist samples. We try the products, we like the products, we sell the products. You know. When Matrix Sleek.look came out, I got all 5 items in the line at the time, all in a cute puffy orange plastic tote. When Paul Mitchell introduced Super Skinny, I got the shampoo and conditioner. When Redken relaunched their Extreme line, I got shampoo, conditioner, a deep treatment, and a leave-in. Actually, I got two of these sets.

At My Current Place of Employment, Alterna has just started wooing us. They sent us 12-packs of full-sized stylist samples, including Hemp Seed Texture Glaze, Hemp Seed Sculpting Putty, and Hemp Seed Repair Weekly Treatment.

And then they sent us White Truffle Luxury Shampoo and White Truffle Luxury Conditioner. They retail at our location, respectively, for $30 and $36.

Now honestly, I have no need for $66 shampoo and conditioner. I've still got so much fucking stuff left over from Saks Inc. gratis, that I'm still set for a couple of years. And since I was given the products to take home and use however I see hit, I decided to sell them on eBay.

People are ponying up $40 or so for the sets on eBay, not realizing that it can be had for around $70 elsewhere, and I'm more than happy to sell mine.

So, after a week, and starting at $9.99 for a bid, the auction ended, and now I'm awaiting $38 payment on paypal, so I can ship the set out.

I still at the heart of things think the people buying this crap are suckers, but it's their money. It's just too bad they don't realize that you can buy it online in various other, and possibly more legitimate, places, like beautysak.com. And if there's an Ulta nearby, they have it for cheap too. They don't sell it on their website, but they do in their stores. I know because I've seeeen it with my own eyes.

**********

After a telemarketing firm in the Phoenix area called me 4 times this week, and I actually repeatedly told them that I wasn't interested in receiving the Chicago Tribune, they AGAIN called me today. I swear I am going to knock some skulls together. I don't care if it is an exceptionally good deal, and that reading the paper at home is a swell thing to do -- I can read it at work for free if I so desire, which I generally don't. I don't care about the special rate they're offering. I'm more interested in them leaving me alone.

To me, the most curious part of this whole thing though, is that the telemarketing firm's number lists on my caller id as an actual number, and not as some vague "Unknown," "Restricted," or "Outside Caller" listing.Granted, you can't actually dial it to any effect, but at least it is recognizable. I mean, you can dial it, but you'll just get an earful of busy signal.

destiny's child irritates me.

...independent hypocrite pt. 2

06.23.05

I don't like Destiny's Child. Never have, never will.

No particular reason, either. I just don't care for their music.

There is, however, one thing that has particularly irritated me for a while -- the lyrics to the songs, "Independent Women" & "Independent Woman Pt. II."

"Independent Women"

Lucy Liu... with my girl, Drew... Cameron D. and Destiny
Charlie's Angels, Come on
Uh uh uh

Question: Tell me what you think about me
I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings
Only ring your cell-y when I'm feelin lonely
When it's all over please get up and leave
Question: Tell me how you feel about this
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
Always 50/50 in relationships

[Chorus 1]
The shoes on my feet
I've bought it
The clothes I'm wearing
I've bought it
The rock I'm rockin'
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted the watch you're wearin'
I'll buy it
The house I live in
I've bought it
The car I'm driving
I've bought it
I depend on me
(I depend on me)

[Chorus 2]
All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that
Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that

Tell me how you feel about this
Who would I want if I would wanna live
I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get
Ladies, it ain't easy bein' independent
Question: How'd you like this knowledge that I brought
Braggin' on that cash that he gave you is to front
If you're gonna brag make sure it's your money you flaunt
Depend on noone else to give you what you want

[Chorus 1]

[Chorus 2]

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that
Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that

Destiny's Child
Wassup?
You in the house?
Sure 'nuff
We'll break these people off Angel style

Child of Destiny
Independent beauty
Noone else can scare me
Charlie's Angels

Woah,
[Chorus 2]

Girl I didn't know you could get down like that
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that
[repeat until fade]

&

"Independent Women pt. 2"

What you think about a girl like me?
Buy my own car and spend my own money
Only ring your celly when I'm feeling lonely
When it's all over please get up and leave

Please don't call me baby
Cause I'll call you
Don't mean to hurt you feelings, got a lot to do
Cause I'm am my number one priority
No falling in love, no commitment from me

[Chorus 1]
All my independent women
Throw them hands up at me
And all my sexy women
Throw them hands up at me
All my money making women
Throw them hands up at me
All my baller women
Throw them hands up at me

[Chorus 2]
If you feel it
Throw them hands up
Where them hands at?
If you feel it?
Where the ladies?
Where my homegirls?
Where my females?
Where all my women?

How you feel about a girl like this?
Try to control me, boy you'll get dismissed
Do what I want, live how I wanna live
Buy my own diamonds, and pay my own bills

Please don't call me baby
Cause I'll call you
Don't mean to hurt you feelings, got a lot to do
Cause I'm am my number one priority
No falling in love, no commitment from me

[Chorus 1]

[Chorus 2]

How did you feel about this groove I wrote?
Hope you got the message ladies take control
Don't depend on no man to give you what you want
Keep that in mind next time you hear this song

If you're independent
I congratulate you
If you ain't in love
I congratulate you
Do them boys like they used to do you
If you pimp him
I congratulate you

[Chorus 1]

[Chorus 2]

[Chorus 2]

If I hurt your feelings boy
I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you yeah
I thought you knew yeah
I got no time to fall in love with you yeah

[Chorus 1]

[Chorus 1]

Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, "What is so bad about being empowered, and wanting to empower other women?"

Well, nothing. Except for these lyrics to one of their very first songs, "Bills, Bills, Bills."

"Bills, Bills, Bills"

At first we started out real cool
Taking me places I ain't never been
But now, you're getting comfortable
Ain't doing those things you did no more
You're slowly making me pay for things
Your money should be handling
And now you ask to use my car (car)
Drive it all day and don't fill up the tank
And you have the audacity
To even come and step to me
Ask to hold some money from me
Until you get your check next week

You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Silly me, why haven't I found another?
A baller, when times get hard
I need someone to help me out
Instead of a scrub like you
Who don't know what a man's about

[Chorus:]
Can you pay my bills?
Can you pay my telephone bills?
Do you pay my automo' bills?
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don't think you do
So, you and me are through
Can you pay my bills?
Can you pay my telephone bills?
Do you pay my automo' bills?
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don't think you do
So, you and me are through

Now you've been maxing out my card (card)
Gave me bad credit, buyin' me gifts with my own ends
Haven't paid the first bill
But instead you're headin' to the mall
Goin' on shopping sprees perpetrating
Telling your friends that you be ballin'
And then you use my cell phone (phone)
Callin' whoever that you think's at home
And then when the bill comes
All of a sudden you be acting dumb
Don't know where none of these calls come from
When your momma's number's here more than once

You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Silly me, why haven't I found another?
A baller, when times get hard
I need someone to help me out
Instead of a scrub like you
Who don't know what a man's about

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge]

You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Oh silly me, why haven't I found another
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Oh silly me, why haven't I found another
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Oh silly me, why haven't I found another
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Oh silly me, why haven't I found another

[Repeat Chorus 4 times]

Okay, so let me get this straight.

When you're starting out in the industry and have no money of your own, you expect some man to pay for everything. And if he stops paying for everything, you dump him for some other chump that will pony up the cash to support your lifestyle.

But now, you've got some serious money in the bank, and you don't need a man to pay for anything. If you want something, you'll get it because you can buy it all yourself.

Of course, this ability to be a rich bitch makes you an equal partner in any relationship, and if a man isn't down with that, you don't need him.

In fact, the only man you really need is a booty-call without any attachment -- someone you can ride like a pony and then send home. You don't need love or committment, because you only look out for yourself.

Oh, and now if a woman happens to have a chump that will pony up the cash to support her lifestyle, she's 'fronting.' Which is apparently bad.

Not only are you rich, but you are judgemental, and only respect other rich bitches.

Maybe this "fronter" is just new to the industry, and doesn't have any money of her own to pay for anything. Maybe she's just following the philosophy that you've handed down in the past -- take advantage as long as you can, and if your needs aren't being met, move on to greener pastures.

Fucking hypocrites.

You know, I actually feel better now about not liking Destiny's Child.

I wasn't feeling bad in any way about not liking them, but now I extra don't feel bad about not liking them. I might almost go as far as to say I almost hate them.

I think I'd have to actually know them to really hate them.

I will admit, though, that I felt a certain pleasure when Kelly Rowland got herself perished in Jason vs. Freddy.

telephonic love from phoenix.

...i thought it was over

06.22.05

Okay, starting in late April, I started receiving pairs of calls from a number in Phoenix, AZ.

Well, not necessarily from Phoenix, but definitely from the 602 area code, which contains: Anthem, Arizona State Lottery (duh, the state lottery), Carefree, CTC (a freight forwarding service), Desert Hills, Dial Corp (the soap people), Greyhound Dial Corp (a long-distance moving company), Laveen, & Phoenix.

I get one call at some variable time on one weekday, and then I receive another call either the next day, or the next business day, also at some variable time.

They never leave voicemail, and if I actually manage to answer the phone before they hang up, no one is there on the other end of the line.

The first six calls came within a 16 day period, and when I didn't get another one, I figured they had stopped. But no, 39 days later, they started again.

• Tuesday, 04/26/05 @ 04:50p, & Wednesday, 04/27/05 @ 09:24a.
• Friday, 05/06/05 @ 11:57a, & Monday, 05/09/05 @ 06:13p.
• Wednesday, 05/11/05 @ 05:57p, @ Thursday, 05/12/05 @ 03:23p
• Monday, 06/20/05 @ 04:46p, & Tuesday, 06/21/05 @ 07:42p

After the sixth call, the one I actually answered, I finally decided to call the number on my caller id, 602.973.9535, and see what was going on.

Of course, it was just a busy signal.

I know it's a telemarketing company of some sort, but why wouldn't they either leave a message, or actually just talk to me when I answered the phone?

If I called someone 8 times, and managed to never get ahold of them (to my knowledge), I might be inclined to, oh, I don't know, say... leave a fucking message?

Amusingly, I'm not the only one curious as to whom the number belongs.

So, I went and finally registered for the Do Not Call list, and even signed up the number for the salon.

I get tired of having to explain to telephone solicitors that the salon is part of a corporation, and that all decisions regarding whatever they are hawking is made at the corporate level, and that I have nothing to do with it.

And then sometimes they ask for the number to Corporate, which I won't give them. As far as I'm concerned, if they want to land a corporate account that large, let them do a little legwork of their own.